In Retrospect

by Ctrl Freak

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released November 11, 2015

All songs written by Richie Bennett. "Through Broken Eyes" written by Richie Bennett and Kurt Hughes. "Run" guitar solo written by Tim Gainsford. "Breaking In" guitar solo written by Sharne Scarborough.



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Ctrl Freak Auckland, New Zealand

Originating from Auckland, New Zealand, Ctrl Freak is a self-produced project by Richie Bennett.

The music shifts between a contemporary-metal dense wall of sound, raw aggression and manic energy, to electronica and ambient soundscapes.
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Track Name: Becoming (Intro)
Fiction seeps into reality, and I become.
Track Name: Wake Me
I’ve been lying my ass off
I was put here to stir up storms
It gives me something to feed off
Instead of bouncing off the walls

I’m not what you think, I’ve always been this crazy
I’ve just run out of medication
I scratch at my skin, I’ve gotta let myself out
Before I lose it and blow again

Will I ever wakeup?
Step inside my mind, I’ve gone crazy
I’m trapped inside of this daze and I wanna break out
Will someone turn on the light and save me?

Will I ever wakeup?
I don’t feel alive, it don’t faze me
I’m trapped inside of this daze and I wanna break out
Will someone turn on the light and wake me?

I’ve been lying my ass off
Said what I said and I own it
I’m either drunk or I've lost it
I don’t fear death long for it

How I love the way you’ve always looked at me
Jaw on the floor while you clench your fist
It’s no wonder why I’ve always felt so distant
I just learnt that I don't even exist
Track Name: Spiritual Suicide
I grit my teeth, I’m always under attack
How long’s this knife been stuck in my back?
I collapse

When they take me I'll be dragging you with me
Hold me back

Spiritual suicide
Won’t you be mine?

A guilty conscience wears away at the soul
Grew up corrupt and now it shakes in my bones
No control
Track Name: Run (Feat. Tim Gainsford)
Can’t admit you’re wrong
You’re wrong, you’re wrong

Part of me wants to see you dead, so

You better run

No matter what you do, I’ll find you

"Hahaha, and I thought my jokes were bad" (Sample)

You better run
So run
Shut your fuckin legs
Track Name: Catfight
I can’t believe
what I’ve become
I’ve ruined lives
I’ve hands of blood

To turn the page
Or close the book
Everybody’s always falling for it
You crack your whip while you talk your shit

It dragged me down
And now I’m hooked
Everybody’s always falling for it
Your time is up and you lose your grip
You’re Schizophrenic any second you’ll flip

I realised
Those screams I heard
They were my own
But twisted words

Take me

“What we’re thinking of as aliens, they’re inter-dimensional beings…” (Sample)
Track Name: Through Broken Eyes (Feat. Kurt Hughes)
I sit back disconnected, and have another to drink
’til vodka tastes like it’s water
I won’t stop disregarding, you’ll have to drag me to hell
Where legends continue living

This war of minds will never be forgotten
I can feel it through the stone
A fucking execution
This is sure to be it, so let go

You tied me down
You kept me away
You clipped my wings
I’m not gonna stay

Blood pouring from my eyes
But I’ll see you in time
Through broken eyes
(This is surely it, so just let go)

Send shivers down my spine
I see the world ignite
Through broken eyes
(This is surely it, so just let go)

Come on, string me up then, I swear to god if I find you
I will rip you apart, bitch
This cycle keeps repeating, an endless waging of wars
You can’t admit that you’re wrong

On this world alone
Atop the masses that are weaker
As I let go of rage building and building
Staring at those who welcome defeat
This is surely it, so let go
Track Name: Veins
Trip on the wire open fire, retake
Keep holding on when I should be pushing away
The scars are fading but the feeling remains
You feed the rage that’s always scraping through my veins

Making threat after threat
Thinking I should be dead
I bring the blood, turn it red
Sink it in ’til I forget

Threat after threat, again and again
But I’m not ignoring everything that you’ve said
You’re under my skin, I’m raging within
And I still remember what you put in my head

I am the voice you hear in the back of your head
I’m the lies, the pain, the hate that you fear

I am the voice you hear in the back of your head
I’m the lies, the pain, the hate that you fear
Open your eyes to find that you don’t like what you see
I remind you of what could’ve been
Track Name: Real Eyes
Stuck in this hole, it’s a part of me, never seen
I’ve been bad but never to this degree
All that you want is apologies, out of me
I don’t care, it’s over, you’re killing me

You don't know me the way that you think you do
I lost my mind, but I will always be here for you

No matter how much that it still hurts me
I could never let you go
And even if I, I still had everything
Without you I am so alone

Adding insult to my injuries, cutting me
Thoughts like knives make telepathic lobotomies
All that I need is your sympathy, I’ll leave the key
One last time, so thanks for the memories

I've got a mouth like a gun, no control
Real eyes realise

Real eyes realise real lies
Track Name: Breaking In (Feat. Sharne Scarborough)
Looking back brings the worst out in me
How I wish I could sleep
I don’t want to remember a thing
I’ve been out here for weeks

Try to catch the words as they left my mouth
Came into my brain, shouldn’t let them out
Still I wanna know, can you hear me now?

Stretched so thin
Every night you’re calling in
That’s why your head spins
Thoughts of lies breaking in

I’ve become
Everything you said I was
So be calm
You’re all I every think about

Give it up, you’ve got nothing on me
Crawling round on your knees
Heard you said you were coming for me
Well, that’s the word on the street

I’ve become everything you said I was

I, I’ve become
So be calm